Warmongers around the world once predicted that the wars of the future would be fought over water. But in an unexpected turn of events, several experts now claim that the war to end all wars might actually erupt over a far older and far more unresolved debate: Who was the greater warrior—Karna or Arjuna?
For the uninitiated, Karna and Arjuna are two of the mightiest heroes from the Hindu epic Mahabharata. Legendary archers and fierce rivals, they are destined to clash in every retelling of the tale—and, just as inevitably, their fanbases have clashed for centuries. Every generation picks a side. Every century reignites the feud. And now, it seems, the next global conflict might not be over resources or religion, but over which of these mythic heroes would win in a fair fight.
“It’s not just memes anymore. This is real, and it’s happening,” says a concerned netizen, ravandidnothingwrong88.
Dr. Meena Veena, a professor of Comparative Mythology, warns:
“It began with harmless debates on social media. Then came the YouTube lore breakdowns, the fan art wars, and now AI-generated deepfakes of Krishna saying Karna was better. And Draupadi claiming Karna was the true sigma.”
The online war rages on. Karna fans on Reddit call Arjuna a "privileged nepo baby," while Arjuna loyalists clap back, describing Karna as a “gullible weakling.” Heated threads have led to subreddit bans, family feuds, and, allegedly, even a few cases of “Friendship ended with Arjuna, now Karna is my best friend” memes being exchanged with the sincerity of treaty documents.
According to student journalist Dhruv Pathi, tensions at Delhi University have reached mythic proportions. Students are reportedly forming rival gangs—the Karna Sena and the Arjuna Veera Sena. What began as a literary debate has escalated into full-blown campus turf wars. Shockingly, even professors are allegedly taking sides, with some refusing to teach unless their chosen hero is officially declared superior.
On a hopeful note, some experts suggest the conflict could be resolved in true Krishna fashion—through diplomacy, cosmic irony, and just the right amount of mischief.
Meanwhile, a more neutral faction—the Ekalavya Fans Association—has proposed a drastic solution to settle the debate. In a move inspired by their hero’s legendary act, members have decided to give Gurudakshina, pledging to never interfere in the Karna vs. Arjuna feud again, no matter how tempting the Reddit thread.
Note: This post is satire and meant for entertainment purposes only. All characters, quotes, and factions are fictional.
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